The PosCast Holiday Draft – by Joe Posnanski

Before we get to the PosCast Holiday Draft, just a quick reminder that if you give JoeBlogs as a gift this holiday season — and, seriously, what could be a better gift — you will get a very special gift in your inbox on Christmas Day: A specially crafted preview of my new book WHY WE LOVE BASEBALL, which will be published by Dutton Books in September!

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OK, on ​​with the show.

Top row (L-R): Nick Offerman, me, Mike DiCenzo. Second row: Howard Bryant, Mike losing it, Jason Kander in some sort of weird Target commercial. Third row: Molly Knight, Alexis Gay, Linda Holmes. Bottom row: Alan Sepinwall. Not pictured: Brandon McCarthy because he didn’t want to be pictured.

Yep, we at the PosCast did the Holiday Draft again. This one is bigger and longer and more ridiculous than ever.

This was — believe it or not or don’t care — the SIXTH Holiday Draft. Well, I couldn’t believe it. So I decided to give you a little breakdown of our six drafts so far, as well as an opportunity to vote on this year’s winner.

Participants: Brandon McCarthy, Mike DiCenzo, Alan Sepinwall, Linda Holmes and Mike Schur.

Highlights: Linda Holmes skewering Mike Schur for his selection of “The Little Drummer Boy.”

low light: Brandon kicked off the very first Holiday Draft in style by selecting the subscription that is Christmas Eve/Sarajevo by Trans-Siberian Orchestra. He still has not lived this down.

Winner: Linda Holmes

Participants: Nick Offerman, Brandon McCarthy, Mike DiCenzo, Alan Sepinwall, Linda Holmes and Mike Schur.

Highlights: Linda Holmes decided to draft holiday characters that would help her achieve world domination.

lowlight: In what would be the lowest moment in PosCast Holiday Draft history — at least until 2022 — Alan Sepinwall decided to outsmart everybody by selecting Phil Conners from “Groundhog Day” on the basis that the word holiday did not specify December holidays. He was given a six-month suspension by original PosCast commissioner David Stern.

Winner: Linda Holmes

Participants: Megan Amram (by proxy), Nick Offerman, Brandon McCarthy, Mike DiCenzo, Alan Sepinwall, Linda Holmes and Mike Schur

Highlights: Mike DiCenzo pointing out that ham only looks good in cartoons.

lowlight: Several. Mike Schur drafting peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as his holiday food. Brandon McCarthy announcing that the ultimate holiday food is Duck L’orange and then using his other two picks for a meal replacement shake and a black cup of decaf. Nothing is sacred anymore.

Winner: Nick Offerman

Participants: Jason Kander, Ellen Adair, Nick Offerman, Brandon McCarthy, Mike DiCenzo, Alan Sepinwall, Linda Holmes and Mike Schur.

Highlights: The very long and heated argument about the joke in the “Bad Santa 2” trailer where the kid says, “One time, I ate too much turkey bacon, I didn’t poop for two weeks … for four weeks.”

lowlight: Jason Kander in his debut announced his intention to supplant Sepinwall as the true villain of the Holiday Draft by selecting “Independence Day.”

Winner: Mike DiCenzo

Participants: Alexis Gay, Jason Kander, Ellen Adair, Nick Offerman, Brandon McCarthy, Mike Dicenzo, Alan Sepinwall, Linda Holmes and Mike Schur

Highlights: It might be Nick Offerman selecting Magic Mike the Robot, who famously said, “I am the atomic-powered robot! Please give my best wishes to everybody!” It also might be newcomer Alexis Gay selecting snowglobes based on her whimsy/utility matrix. It also might be Mike DiCenzo, after getting like 12 minutes of sleep because he’s a writer for “SNL,” drafting “Christmas tree” because it was the first thing that came to his head.

lowlight: Jason Kander selected a video game console, a piano and Nerf guns.

Winner: Alexis Gay*

*Her victory has been disputed because of her post-draft promotions which PosCast commissioner Roger Goodell deemed “unseemly for something as pristine as the Holiday Draft.” He suspended Alexis for one month but allowed the victory to stand.

Participants: Molly Knight, Howard Bryant, Alexis Gay, Jason Kander, Ellen Adair, Nick Offerman, Brandon McCarthy, Mike Dicenzo, Alan Sepinwall, Linda Holmes and Mike Schur

And now you can choose who won the 2022 Holiday Draft! Because there were so many people, I had to break it up into two batches — you are more than welcome to vote for your favorite in each box or just select one overall pick. It’s the PosCast Holiday Draft — there are no rules.*

*This has taken on new meaning this year — new PosCast commissioner Gianni Infantino has ruled that competitors are allowed to court votes every however they like, including bribes. I would not be surprised to see some individual PosCast draft persuasion in the JoeBlog comments.

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